Introduction
The "Bitter or Better" series was developed during a period of deep self-reflection by my co-creator and me while incarcerated. This journey of transformation was born out of a desire to understand the reasons behind our unethical decisions and create a pathway to a more ethical, fulfilling life. Rooted in the principle of HOGA (Honesty, Openness, Gratitude, Awareness), the Bitter or Better framework became a guide not only for us but also for the many inmates we taught. It offers a fresh and holistic approach to ethics training, focusing on building contentment, gratitude, and resilience. The ultimate goal? Ethical excellence, both in personal and professional spheres.
Now that we’ve reached the conclusion of the eight-part Bitter or Better blog series, it’s time to reflect on the key insights, principles, and actionable strategies that have emerged along the way. These lessons are central to the ethics training programs I offer to organizations and businesses, providing a unique, lived-experience perspective on developing ethical behavior and personal well-being.
The Core of Happiness: Week 1
We began the series by exploring happiness and what it truly means. Many people, especially those who find themselves making unethical choices, often confuse happiness with material success. The idea of chasing external validation—through wealth, possessions, or status—can lead to discontentment and unethical actions.
Happiness, as we’ve discovered, is an inside job. In our journey, we realized that true happiness comes from within, grounded in contentment and gratitude. This understanding is fundamental in the Bitter or Better approach, as it encourages individuals to seek joy from internal sources rather than chasing fleeting pleasures that often lead to unethical decisions.
In my ethics training, this concept is a key starting point. When individuals learn to cultivate happiness internally, they’re less likely to engage in unethical behavior driven by external pressures.
Shame vs. Guilt: Week 2
The second blog examined the difference between shame and guilt and how each affects ethical decision-making. Shame can be crippling, leading individuals to hide their mistakes and continue on a path of unethical behavior. Guilt, however, can act as a catalyst for change, allowing individuals to acknowledge their wrongdoings and take corrective action.
This distinction is essential in ethical training. Understanding the power of guilt to promote positive change enables people to avoid falling into the trap of shame, which often leads to further unethical choices.
Willful Blindness: Week 3
In Week 3, we dove into the concept of willful blindness—the act of deliberately ignoring unethical behavior or situations to avoid accountability. This is a significant issue both in personal life and in organizations. Inmates, like many professionals, sometimes turn a blind eye to unethical actions because facing the truth is uncomfortable.
HOGA principles, especially Openness and Awareness, are vital here. By fostering awareness of the choices we make and remaining open to facing uncomfortable truths, we can prevent willful blindness and make more ethical decisions.
Ethical Decision Making: Week 4
Week 4 focused on how ethical decisions are made and the factors influencing them. In prison, my co-creator and I observed that many unethical actions were driven by pressure—both internal (e.g., insecurity) and external (e.g., societal expectations).
We explored the concept of Gratitude as an Antidote for Unethical Behavior. Gratitude, as part of HOGA, allows individuals to shift their focus from what they lack to what they have. This mindset fosters contentment and reduces the likelihood of unethical actions fueled by desire or dissatisfaction.
In my ethics training practice, I emphasize gratitude as a core element in fostering ethical behavior in business settings.
Values and Beliefs: Week 5
In the fifth week, we examined the role of values and beliefs in shaping ethical behavior. Inspired by Ray Dalio’s writings, we emphasized the importance of having clear, well-defined values to guide decision-making.
Organizations, like individuals, need to articulate their values clearly to ensure they foster an ethical culture. In the Bitter or Better framework, Honesty and Awareness serve as cornerstones for identifying and aligning with one’s core values.
Resilience and Optimism: Week 6
Resilience and optimism are critical to overcoming adversity and maintaining ethical behavior, a lesson we learned firsthand during incarceration. Many inmates faced hardships that could have led them to bitterness. But through the practice of HOGA, we learned that resilience allows us to face difficulties with grace, and optimism helps us believe in a better future.
Resilience and optimism are integral parts of my ethics training, helping professionals navigate ethical dilemmas with confidence and positivity.
Love Works: Relationships, Empathy, and Compassion: Week 7
In Week 7, we delved into how positive relationships, empathy, and compassion promote ethical behavior. During our journey, we learned that fostering meaningful connections and demonstrating empathy and compassion for others not only enhanced our well-being but also prevented unethical behavior.
These principles are often overlooked in traditional ethics training. However, in Bitter or Better, they are essential components of a holistic approach to ethical living. I integrate these factors into my training programs, as they are vital to creating ethical, compassionate leaders and teams.
Conclusion: Ethical Excellence and the Journey Ahead
The final part of the series tied everything together. We reflected on how each aspect of the Bitter or Better framework, from cultivating inner happiness to practicing resilience, optimism, and compassion, contributes to achieving ethical excellence.
Ethical excellence is not a destination but a journey—one that requires continuous reflection, growth, and gratitude. The Bitter or Better approach, founded on HOGA, provides individuals and organizations with a roadmap to navigate ethical dilemmas, promote personal well-being, and foster a culture of integrity.
This holistic approach is not only a framework for individuals but also a powerful tool for businesses and organizations seeking to instill a strong ethical culture. Through the Bitter or Better series, we’ve explored how practicing HOGA, embracing gratitude, and focusing on personal growth can transform lives and lead to ethical excellence.
If you're interested in learning more about the Bitter or Better approach or how it can be applied in your organization, feel free to contact me for more information on my ethics training programs.
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