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Navigating the Thin Line: Balancing Pleasure and Contentment in Ethical Decision Making (#5 of an 8 Part Series)

Writer: Bill Carlson Bill Carlson

Pleasure vs. Contentment: Choosing Long-Term Fulfillment Over Short-Term Gains


In our journey through the "Bitter or Better" series, we've explored how HOGA—Honesty, Openness, Gratitude, and Awareness—serves as the foundation for resilience, happiness, and ethical decision-making. Now, we delve into a key distinction that has profound implications for both personal well-being and ethical behavior: the difference between pleasure and contentment.


Pleasure is often sought in the pursuit of external rewards, while contentment comes from a deeper sense of inner fulfillment. Understanding this distinction is essential not only for personal growth but also for making ethical decisions in a world full of temptations that can lead us astray.


The Journey of Distinguishing Pleasure from Contentment


During the research and self-reflection that led to the development of "Bitter or Better," my co-creator and I uncovered a critical insight: much of our past unethical behavior was driven by the pursuit of fleeting pleasures rather than lasting contentment. We sought happiness through external achievements, material gains, and status, mistakenly believing that these would provide the fulfillment we craved. In reality, they left us unsatisfied and spiraling further into unethical decisions, chasing after temporary highs instead of cultivating internal peace.


As we developed the "Bitter or Better" course, we began to see how this distinction between pleasure and contentment was central not only to our personal transformation but to many of the inmates we encountered. The majority of them, like us, had been driven by the pursuit of pleasure—money, power, or other external rewards. These short-term satisfactions often led them to unethical choices, thinking that achieving these goals would finally make them happy. However, as we all learned through the course, true contentment comes from within. It’s rooted in cultivating self-awareness and gratitude for the present moment, rather than constantly seeking external validation.


This realization became a core teaching of "Bitter or Better." By helping others understand this critical difference, we guided them toward a healthier mindset. Many inmates were initially resistant, clinging to the belief that their happiness would come once they obtained certain external goals. However, through the practices and principles of HOGA—Honesty, Openness, Gratitude, and Awareness—we saw a shift. They began to recognize that the endless pursuit of pleasure was not only unfulfilling but often the very source of their unethical behavior. With this newfound awareness, they started to seek contentment within themselves, building resilience and making more ethical choices in their daily lives.


On a personal level, understanding the distinction between pleasure and contentment can have profound effects on our mental and emotional well-being. Research from Shawn Achor, author of The Happiness Advantage, shows that true happiness and well-being come not from the pursuit of pleasure, but from finding meaning and fostering positive relationships. His work highlights that people who focus on achieving contentment through practices like gratitude and positive social interactions are more likely to experience long-term happiness and success.


Actionable Insights for Ethical Living and Organizational Success


To apply the principles of contentment in your own life and work, consider the following tips:

  • Practice Gratitude: Regularly reflect on the positive aspects of your life. This helps shift your focus away from external pleasures and towards contentment.

  • Prioritize Long-Term Goals: Whether in your personal life or professional role, focus on goals that contribute to lasting fulfillment rather than immediate gratification.

  • Create a Culture of Contentment: In your organization, advocate for a culture that prioritizes ethical behavior, well-being, and long-term growth over short-term gains.


Applying These Lessons to Organizational Ethics Training


In my ethics training practice, I draw heavily on this insight to help organizations foster cultures that promote lasting well-being and ethical behavior. The distinction between pleasure and contentment is critical in the workplace as well. When employees focus solely on short-term rewards—bonuses, promotions, or recognition—they may be tempted to cut corners or act unethically to achieve those ends. However, when organizations promote a culture rooted in long-term contentment—by encouraging openness, gratitude, and awareness—employees are more likely to make decisions that align with ethical principles.


I use real-world examples from "Bitter or Better" to illustrate how chasing pleasure can lead to ethical downfalls, and how shifting focus toward internal contentment leads to better decision-making and a healthier workplace. Through the HOGA framework, I teach leaders and employees how to cultivate a sense of fulfillment that doesn't rely on external factors, resulting in greater resilience and ethical integrity in both personal and professional realms.


Conclusion


Choosing contentment over pleasure is a critical step toward living a life of betterment rather than bitterness. By understanding the difference between fleeting rewards and lasting fulfillment, we can make ethical decisions that align with our core values and foster long-term well-being. The principles of HOGA—Honesty, Openness, Gratitude, and Awareness—serve as powerful tools to guide us on this journey.


As we continue the "Bitter or Better" series, remember that contentment is not only a personal goal but a professional one. Organizations that embrace this mindset create environments where employees can thrive, and ethical behavior is the norm.


 
 
 

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What the Professionals Are Saying 

"I teach a course on negotiations, during which I spend a good deal of time talking about honesty and ethics in negotiations. As an ethics researcher, I think it is important that students not only understand strategies for successfully claiming value in negotiations, but also learn about the temptations they will face to engage in unethical bargaining, and unethical behavior more broadly in their professional careers. Bill brought this message to life. Bill explained to my students – with openness, authenticity, and scientific insight – the ethical missteps he took in his career. I am incredibly grateful to have had Bill in my class – I learned from him just as much as my students did. I think he would be a welcome, and much needed, addition to any course related to ethics, well-being, power and influence, or negotiations (and likely many more!)."   

                                                                        Professor Emma Levine/ University of Chicago Booth School of Business 

“Bill Carlson has a reservoir of experience that will resonate with college students and professionals from all walks of life. Seldom do you encounter an individual willing to openly share his foibles and mistakes in an attempt to deviate the life paths of those mutually-inclined to make the same errors. Bill lays his life bare in his presentation and shares the detrimental impact his decision-making had on his personal and professional life; yet he lays the foundation for an inroad to a better future built upon his gratitude for life, learning from his mistakes, and pursuit of his new definition of “life wholeness”.  

                                                                         Dr. William C. McCoy, Director/Rutland Institute for Ethics

                                                                         Visiting Professor, College of Education/Clemson University 

"For over 30 years, I have been teaching full- and part-time. For the past eleven years I have been a member of the accounting faculty at Fordham University. This semester, Fall 2021, Mr. Carlson agreed to speak with my students about his story, and I can say that I have had few guest speakers who delivered such a powerful message about the importance of professional obligations. It was the story of a seemingly nice guy who exhibited a lack of judgment and would pay a heavy price for it. Most importantly, it is a story of a man who reflected upon his moral lapse and has made a solid commitment to helping others."              

                                                                                       Timothy P. Hedley, Ph.D., CPA, CFF, CFE

                                                                            Retired Global Leader of Fraud Risk Management Services, KPMG LLP

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