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#5 in a 5 Part Series: Building Habits of Gratitude, Honesty, and Awareness for Long-Term Ethical Growth

Writer: Bill Carlson Bill Carlson

Throughout this series, we’ve explored how gratitude, honesty, openness, and awareness (HOGA) are foundational tools for ethical decision-making. In this final blog, we focus on how to make these principles a daily habit, creating a strong ethical foundation that will guide you for the long term. The approach I’m sharing was born from personal reflection during a challenging time—my period of incarceration—and taught to fellow inmates through the “Bitter or Better” program. These concepts are not just ideas; they are practices that have been put to the test in some of the most difficult environments imaginable.


Gratitude as the Core of Ethical Growth


Gratitude is more than a momentary reflection—it’s a transformative practice that reshapes how we see the world and make decisions. Research supports the idea that gratitude improves mental health, strengthens relationships, and increases resilience, all of which are crucial for long-term ethical growth. A study by Robert Emmons, a leading researcher on gratitude, found that people who regularly practice gratitude are more likely to be compassionate, supportive, and mindful of others.


During my incarceration, gratitude became my anchor. It helped me shift from bitterness over past decisions to a clearer understanding of how to live ethically in the present. By focusing on what I had, instead of what I lacked, I was able to regain a sense of integrity that had been lost in the pursuit of external success. As I shared this mindset with other inmates, it became clear that gratitude could serve as a foundation for anyone seeking to live a more ethical life.


HOGA Integration: Incorporating gratitude into your daily routine can start with small steps—such as writing down three things you’re grateful for each day. This simple habit helps you stay connected to the values that guide ethical decision-making, even when external pressures threaten to pull you off course.


Honesty: The Pillar of Self-Reflection


Building an ethical habit starts with being honest with yourself. Honesty allows you to confront your true motivations, admit when you’ve made mistakes, and take corrective action before unethical behavior spirals out of control. This level of self-awareness can be uncomfortable, but it’s essential for growth.


In the “Bitter or Better” program, we constantly emphasized honesty, not just in dealing with others but in how we viewed ourselves. Many of us had made decisions based on pride, fear, or a desire to fit in, without considering the long-term consequences. By creating space for honest self-reflection, we were able to see where our actions had strayed from our values.


HOGA Integration: Honesty, combined with gratitude, helps you see situations more clearly. A daily practice of reflection—perhaps journaling about your decisions—forces you to confront where your actions align or misalign with your values.


Openness: Welcoming Change and Growth


Openness allows us to stay flexible in our thinking and embrace new perspectives, both of which are crucial when facing ethical dilemmas. During incarceration, openness helped me see the potential for growth in others and myself. It was also an essential part of teaching the “Bitter or Better” course. Those who were open to new ways of thinking experienced the greatest shifts in their behavior and mindset.


Being open to change also means accepting that ethical growth is a lifelong process. We’re constantly learning, and staying open to feedback ensures we’re always moving toward better decisions.


HOGA Integration: Openness invites others into your ethical journey. Sharing your thoughts and decisions with trusted peers or mentors can help you stay accountable to your values.


Awareness: The Key to Mindful Decision-Making


Awareness ties everything together. Without being fully aware of the pressures and influences around us, it’s easy to make decisions on autopilot or fall into unethical patterns. The practice of awareness involves recognizing internal triggers—like fear or anger—and external pressures—like financial strain or social expectations—that can cloud judgment.

During “Bitter or Better,” awareness was essential in helping us understand how external pressures, like the desire for money or status, led to poor decisions. Teaching awareness helped other inmates, like myself, recognize the patterns in our behavior and disrupt them before they caused harm.


HOGA Integration: A habit of daily mindfulness practices, such as meditation or simple breathing exercises, can heighten your awareness and give you the clarity needed to make ethical decisions. Pausing to reflect on your surroundings and emotions can be enough to prevent an unethical choice in moments of pressure.


Creating a Lasting Ethical Mindset


As we conclude this series, remember that building an ethical life isn’t about perfection—it’s about consistent, conscious effort. By making gratitude, honesty, openness, and awareness part of your daily habits, you’ll create a lasting ethical foundation that guides your decisions, no matter what challenges you face.


Incorporating these principles helped me change my life during one of the hardest times I’ve ever experienced, and I’ve seen the same impact in others who followed the “Bitter or Better” path. It’s my hope that you’ll find these tools just as useful in your own journey toward ethical growth.

 
 
 

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What the Professionals Are Saying 

"I teach a course on negotiations, during which I spend a good deal of time talking about honesty and ethics in negotiations. As an ethics researcher, I think it is important that students not only understand strategies for successfully claiming value in negotiations, but also learn about the temptations they will face to engage in unethical bargaining, and unethical behavior more broadly in their professional careers. Bill brought this message to life. Bill explained to my students – with openness, authenticity, and scientific insight – the ethical missteps he took in his career. I am incredibly grateful to have had Bill in my class – I learned from him just as much as my students did. I think he would be a welcome, and much needed, addition to any course related to ethics, well-being, power and influence, or negotiations (and likely many more!)."   

                                                                        Professor Emma Levine/ University of Chicago Booth School of Business 

“Bill Carlson has a reservoir of experience that will resonate with college students and professionals from all walks of life. Seldom do you encounter an individual willing to openly share his foibles and mistakes in an attempt to deviate the life paths of those mutually-inclined to make the same errors. Bill lays his life bare in his presentation and shares the detrimental impact his decision-making had on his personal and professional life; yet he lays the foundation for an inroad to a better future built upon his gratitude for life, learning from his mistakes, and pursuit of his new definition of “life wholeness”.  

                                                                         Dr. William C. McCoy, Director/Rutland Institute for Ethics

                                                                         Visiting Professor, College of Education/Clemson University 

"For over 30 years, I have been teaching full- and part-time. For the past eleven years I have been a member of the accounting faculty at Fordham University. This semester, Fall 2021, Mr. Carlson agreed to speak with my students about his story, and I can say that I have had few guest speakers who delivered such a powerful message about the importance of professional obligations. It was the story of a seemingly nice guy who exhibited a lack of judgment and would pay a heavy price for it. Most importantly, it is a story of a man who reflected upon his moral lapse and has made a solid commitment to helping others."              

                                                                                       Timothy P. Hedley, Ph.D., CPA, CFF, CFE

                                                                            Retired Global Leader of Fraud Risk Management Services, KPMG LLP

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