Life often places us in situations that test our patience, resolve, and mental strength. During my time of incarceration, I encountered such a situation that, though initially frustrating, became a profound learning experience. By embracing HOGA—Honesty, Openness, Gratitude, and Awareness—I turned a grueling day at a Federal Correctional Institution (FCI) into a testament to the power of a healthy mindset.
The Birth of HOGA
HOGA - Honesty, Openness, Gratitude, Awareness - was born out of necessity during my time in prison. Alongside another inmate, we developed this framework as a tool to maintain a healthier mind amidst the challenges of incarceration. Recognizing the transformative potential of these principles, we began to share them with other inmates through a program we called "Bitter or Better...Learning to Find Happiness and Gratitude in Prison and Beyond." This program aimed to help others find joy and purpose, even in the most trying circumstances.
The Setting: FCI's Stark Reality
The FCI in Terre Haute, IN., built in 1939 originally as a maximum-security prison, is reminiscent of the grim setting in "The Shawshank Redemption," but on a larger scale. The building was old, dark, dirty, and infested with roaches and mice. The cockroaches, undeterred by light or human presence, scuttled around freely, adding to the palpable sense of despair. Today, the facility holds medium-risk inmates, many of which are in for violent offenses.
On this particular day, the inmates at the FCI were in lockdown for reasons unknown. During such lockdowns, inmates from the adjacent Federal Prison Camp, were brought over to prepare meals for approximately 1100 inmates, resulting in about 3300 meals over three shifts. My day began at 5 AM, with a small group of us, most lacking kitchen experience, tasked with this monumental job.
The Challenge
Before heading to the FCI, I was told that the work wouldn't be too bad, that we’d be well-fed and done by 11 AM. Reality was quite different. We were fed late, and the food was no better than our regular meals. What was supposed to be a brief morning shift stretched into a 14-hour marathon.
Our tasks were labor-intensive and repetitive. We prepared breakfast for that day and the next, including 50 sheets of blueberry cakes, each sheet holding 48 cakes, totaling around 2000 cakes. I spent a significant part of the day washing these large sheets. There were also 24 trays of peas, each 4 inches deep, that needed heating. Many ovens were high up, leading to hot juice frequently spilling down my arm as I reached up to remove the trays from the oven.
The Mental Struggle
Throughout the day, negative feelings crept in—anger and resentment, especially towards those who shirked their duties, making the rest of us work harder and much longer hours. The air was thick with the negativity of fellow inmates’ complaints, threatening to pull me into a mental spiral.
Embracing HOGA
Early in the day, I made a conscious decision to practice HOGA to navigate this challenging situation:
1. Awareness: I remained mindful of my environment and my feelings. Acknowledging the frustration and the physical discomfort allowed me to stay grounded and present.
2. Honesty: I was truthful with myself about my emotions. When negative thoughts surfaced, I didn't suppress them. Instead, I recognized and addressed them head-on.
3. Openness: I kept an open mind, ready to adjust my perspective. I focused on controlling what I could—my effort and my perception. This meant actively choosing a healthy mindset despite the external chaos.
4. Gratitude: I took stock of the positives. I was grateful for my resilience and effort, for the fact that I would be leaving FCI that day, for my two wonderful children with whom I was rebuilding a relationship, and for my incredibly supportive parents. Additionally, I was thankful for the opportunity to meet other camp inmates, forming connections that might have otherwise been missed.
The Positive Outcome
By practicing HOGA, I found a silver lining in the ordeal. Several Correctional Officers (COs) thanked me for my hard work, a gesture that reinforced my belief in maintaining a positive attitude. This acknowledgment was a testament to the impact of a healthy mindset, even in the most challenging environments.
Reflection
That day at the FCI, I learned that while we cannot always control our circumstances, we can control how we react to them. By being aware, honest, open, and grateful, we can transform even the most daunting situations into valuable life lessons. Practicing HOGA allowed me to maintain a healthy mind, find meaning in my efforts, and appreciate the small victories amidst the struggle.
In life, we often face situations that seem insurmountable. But by embracing HOGA, we can navigate these challenges with resilience and grace. Whether you are in a difficult job, dealing with personal issues, or simply having a bad day, remember the power of Honesty, Openness, Gratitude, and Awareness. These principles can help you stay grounded, maintain a positive outlook, and find joy and purpose in every experience.
#HOGA #PrisonReform #MentalHealth #Gratitude #Mindfulness #PositiveThinking #Resilience #PersonalGrowth #IncarcerationLessons
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