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Blog 6: Gratitude as the Antidote – How to Avoid Chasing Butterflies

Writer: Bill Carlson Bill Carlson

Introduction


In our journey through the "Chasing Butterflies" series, we've examined the elusive nature of happiness and how chasing external sources often leads to unethical decisions. As I reflect on my experiences during incarceration, I learned a profound lesson: gratitude is not merely a feel-good emotion; it's a powerful antidote to unethical behavior. In this blog, we will explore how practicing gratitude fosters ethical choices, enhances inner fulfillment, and ultimately helps us stop chasing butterflies.


The Power of Gratitude


While incarcerated, I witnessed firsthand the impact of gratitude on my mindset and well-being. Many of us were initially focused on external sources of happiness—money, power, and status. However, as I began to practice gratitude, I realized that true contentment comes from within. Acknowledging the positive aspects of my life, no matter how small, shifted my perspective.


Gratitude helped me recognize the value of my healthy relationships, my family's love, and even the lessons learned from difficult experiences. This internal shift was pivotal in breaking the cycle of chasing external validation, leading me to realize that genuine happiness doesn't rely on what we possess but rather on how we perceive our circumstances.


Gratitude as an Antidote to Unethical Behavior


The connection between gratitude and ethical behavior is significant. When we cultivate a mindset of gratitude, we are less likely to engage in unethical actions. This is particularly evident in the context of the 10/80/10 rule established by the National Association of State Auditors, Comptrollers, and Treasurers (NASACT). According to this framework, 10% of people act ethically, 80% may engage in unethical behavior under pressure, and the remaining 10% are actively looking to engage in unethical behavior.


Practicing gratitude shifts our focus from scarcity to abundance. It fosters a sense of fulfillment and diminishes the pressures that lead individuals in the 80% group to compromise their values. When we appreciate what we have, we are less susceptible to the pressures of wanting more, which can lead to unethical decisions.


Building the Course: Bitter or Better


This realization led a fellow inmate and myself to create the course, "Bitter or Better...Learning to Be Grateful and Finding Happiness in Prison and Beyond." In this program, we taught fellow inmates the importance of gratitude as a tool for personal transformation. The curriculum emphasized that by recognizing and appreciating the good in our lives, we could overcome the bitterness and disappointment that often accompany incarceration.


As we shared our experiences and reflections, we began to see how gratitude could become a powerful practice, allowing us to find joy and fulfillment even in challenging circumstances. This shift in perspective not only helped many of us reconnect with our values but also encouraged ethical behavior and decision-making.


Conclusion: The Final Steps to Ethical Clarity


In conclusion, gratitude is a vital practice that helps us avoid chasing butterflies and the pitfalls of unethical behavior. By embracing gratitude, we can cultivate a more fulfilling and ethical life, allowing us to live in alignment with our true values.


In the next blog, we will summarize our journey and provide actionable steps for fostering gratitude and ethical decision-making in daily life. Stay tuned as we tie together the lessons learned and offer practical strategies for living a more ethical and fulfilling life.

Comments


What the Professionals Are Saying 

"I teach a course on negotiations, during which I spend a good deal of time talking about honesty and ethics in negotiations. As an ethics researcher, I think it is important that students not only understand strategies for successfully claiming value in negotiations, but also learn about the temptations they will face to engage in unethical bargaining, and unethical behavior more broadly in their professional careers. Bill brought this message to life. Bill explained to my students – with openness, authenticity, and scientific insight – the ethical missteps he took in his career. I am incredibly grateful to have had Bill in my class – I learned from him just as much as my students did. I think he would be a welcome, and much needed, addition to any course related to ethics, well-being, power and influence, or negotiations (and likely many more!)."   

                                                                        Professor Emma Levine/ University of Chicago Booth School of Business 

“Bill Carlson has a reservoir of experience that will resonate with college students and professionals from all walks of life. Seldom do you encounter an individual willing to openly share his foibles and mistakes in an attempt to deviate the life paths of those mutually-inclined to make the same errors. Bill lays his life bare in his presentation and shares the detrimental impact his decision-making had on his personal and professional life; yet he lays the foundation for an inroad to a better future built upon his gratitude for life, learning from his mistakes, and pursuit of his new definition of “life wholeness”.  

                                                                         Dr. William C. McCoy, Director/Rutland Institute for Ethics

                                                                         Visiting Professor, College of Education/Clemson University 

"For over 30 years, I have been teaching full- and part-time. For the past eleven years I have been a member of the accounting faculty at Fordham University. This semester, Fall 2021, Mr. Carlson agreed to speak with my students about his story, and I can say that I have had few guest speakers who delivered such a powerful message about the importance of professional obligations. It was the story of a seemingly nice guy who exhibited a lack of judgment and would pay a heavy price for it. Most importantly, it is a story of a man who reflected upon his moral lapse and has made a solid commitment to helping others."              

                                                                                       Timothy P. Hedley, Ph.D., CPA, CFF, CFE

                                                                            Retired Global Leader of Fraud Risk Management Services, KPMG LLP

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