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Blog 5: The Role of Values and Beliefs in the Butterfly Chase

Writer's picture: Bill Carlson Bill Carlson

Introduction: The Core of Our Choices


At the heart of ethical behavior lies a strong sense of personal values and beliefs. These are the principles that guide our actions, influencing how we make decisions in challenging situations. When we know what we stand for, we can act with integrity—even when the pressure is on.


In the previous blog, we discussed the connection between happiness and ethics. Now, we turn to the role of values and beliefs in shaping the choices we make, helping us avoid the lure of external validation and unethical behavior.


How Chasing Butterflies Disconnects Us from Our Values


In the Bitter or Better course, I noticed a pattern among the inmates. Many were chasing various external sources of happiness, believing that money, power, or status would lead to contentment. However, this pursuit often led them down a path of unethical behavior. Their focus on external goals caused them to lose sight of their core values, which were often pushed aside in favor of short-term gains.


This isn't unique to those incarcerated. Many of us, in our pursuit of success or happiness, become disconnected from our internal compass. As a result, we make choices that clash with who we really are. The pursuit of these "butterflies" can easily cloud our judgment, tempting us to compromise our ethics in the process.


Understanding Your Values and Beliefs to Avoid Unethical Behavior


One of the most important lessons I learned, both personally and while teaching others, is the power of knowing your values and beliefs. These are the guiding principles that help us navigate life’s pressures without straying from an ethical path.


When we take the time to reflect on what truly matters to us—whether it’s honesty, integrity, kindness, or fairness—we create a solid ethical foundation. This foundation becomes a lens through which we view every decision. Knowing your values makes it easier to recognize when a decision is pulling you away from your core beliefs. It helps us resist temptations and shortcuts that might bring short-term rewards but compromise our long-term happiness and integrity.


For example, in my own life, I was convinced that happiness for my family and me would come from having more "things." As the pressures built to have more, my moral compass was weakened to the point where I repeatedly engaged in unethical behavior. It wasn't until I reflected on my values and realized what truly mattered—family, health, integrity—that I was able to let go of the chase and find inner peace.


Aligning Your Beliefs with Ethical Actions


During my time in prison, I saw firsthand how the inmates who began identifying their values were the ones who shifted their behavior. Once they recognized what they believed in, whether it was fairness, honesty, or compassion, they started making decisions that aligned with those beliefs.


This shift brought a sense of peace and clarity, as they no longer felt the need to chase external validation. Instead, they found contentment in knowing they were living in alignment with their beliefs—something that can’t be bought with money, power, or status.


Having a clear sense of your values and beliefs doesn't just help you make ethical decisions; it also brings an inner sense of fulfillment that external sources can never provide.


Living in Alignment: Ethical Decisions in Everyday Life


In the NASACT’s 10/80/10 rule, 80% of people may engage in unethical behavior when the pressure and opportunity present themselves. This happens often when people don't have a clear sense of their values. But those who are grounded in their core beliefs are less likely to fall into that 80%, because they understand the importance of making decisions that align with their personal ethics.


This is why identifying your values and beliefs is crucial. When you know what you stand for, you don’t need to chase after "butterflies" that ultimately lead to unethical behavior. Instead, you can make choices that reflect who you truly are, standing firm in the face of pressure.


Conclusion: Aligning Values with Ethical Choices


When we deeply understand our values and beliefs, we gain clarity in decision-making, enabling us to avoid compromising our ethics. Identifying what matters most to us gives us a compass to guide our choices and avoid being swayed by external pressures. This internal clarity helps us stay true to our ethical standards, even when the allure of “butterflies” like money or power threatens to lead us astray.


In Blog 6, we will dive deeper into gratitude as the antidote to chasing external happiness. We’ll explore how practicing gratitude can help us let go of the need to chase those elusive butterflies and instead cultivate fulfillment from within, leading to more ethical decisions and a greater sense of integrity. Stay tuned for practical insights on how gratitude can shift your focus and strengthen your ethical compass.

Commentaires


What the Professionals Are Saying 

"I teach a course on negotiations, during which I spend a good deal of time talking about honesty and ethics in negotiations. As an ethics researcher, I think it is important that students not only understand strategies for successfully claiming value in negotiations, but also learn about the temptations they will face to engage in unethical bargaining, and unethical behavior more broadly in their professional careers. Bill brought this message to life. Bill explained to my students – with openness, authenticity, and scientific insight – the ethical missteps he took in his career. I am incredibly grateful to have had Bill in my class – I learned from him just as much as my students did. I think he would be a welcome, and much needed, addition to any course related to ethics, well-being, power and influence, or negotiations (and likely many more!)."   

                                                                        Professor Emma Levine/ University of Chicago Booth School of Business 

“Bill Carlson has a reservoir of experience that will resonate with college students and professionals from all walks of life. Seldom do you encounter an individual willing to openly share his foibles and mistakes in an attempt to deviate the life paths of those mutually-inclined to make the same errors. Bill lays his life bare in his presentation and shares the detrimental impact his decision-making had on his personal and professional life; yet he lays the foundation for an inroad to a better future built upon his gratitude for life, learning from his mistakes, and pursuit of his new definition of “life wholeness”.  

                                                                         Dr. William C. McCoy, Director/Rutland Institute for Ethics

                                                                         Visiting Professor, College of Education/Clemson University 

"For over 30 years, I have been teaching full- and part-time. For the past eleven years I have been a member of the accounting faculty at Fordham University. This semester, Fall 2021, Mr. Carlson agreed to speak with my students about his story, and I can say that I have had few guest speakers who delivered such a powerful message about the importance of professional obligations. It was the story of a seemingly nice guy who exhibited a lack of judgment and would pay a heavy price for it. Most importantly, it is a story of a man who reflected upon his moral lapse and has made a solid commitment to helping others."              

                                                                                       Timothy P. Hedley, Ph.D., CPA, CFF, CFE

                                                                            Retired Global Leader of Fraud Risk Management Services, KPMG LLP

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