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Why Gratitude Matters During the Holidays

Writer's picture: Bill Carlson Bill Carlson


The holiday season is meant to be a time of joy, connection, and reflection. Yet, for many, it has become a period dominated by commercialism—a mad dash for gifts, decorations, and sales. Advertisements constantly remind us that happiness is supposedly found in the latest gadget, the perfect gift, or the trendiest outfit. This focus on materialism can overshadow the deeper meaning of the holidays: celebrating what truly brings joy—family, relationships, and experiences.


I know this because I once fell into the same trap. For years, I chased happiness through possessions, money, and status, believing that achieving these external markers of success would bring fulfillment. This pursuit ultimately led to my downfall and a period of incarceration. In that harsh environment, stripped of what I thought made life meaningful, I discovered an essential truth: happiness comes from within. It begins with gratitude.


A Hard-Learned Lesson


During my time in prison, I began a simple yet transformative practice: keeping a gratitude journal. At the end of each day, I reflected on three things I was grateful for. At first, it wasn't easy. I was consumed with regret, shame, and self-pity. I had lost my freedom, was separated from my loved ones, and had no control over basic aspects of my life—where I lived, what I ate, and even when I could go outside.


But slowly, as I committed to the practice, my perspective shifted. I began to notice small blessings: a kind word from a fellow inmate, the warmth of the sun on my face during outdoor time, or a letter from my family. These small moments of gratitude added up, providing a sense of hope and perspective that carried me through my incarceration.


The Power of Gratitude


That gratitude journal became a lifeline, reminding me daily that even in the darkest circumstances, there was always something to be thankful for. It taught me to focus on what I had, rather than what I had lost. The practice rewired my mindset, shifting me away from external validation and material pursuits toward a deeper appreciation of the present moment.


Now, more than four years since my release, the gratitude journal remains a cornerstone of my daily life. As time passes, it would be easy to forget the hard lessons I learned while incarcerated. But I choose to hold onto those lessons because they’ve fundamentally changed how I live. I no longer chase butterflies—those fleeting external markers of happiness. Instead, I’ve found a steady sense of fulfillment in recognizing and appreciating the blessings that are already in my life.


Refocusing the Holiday Season


The holidays are the perfect time to pause and reconnect with the practice of gratitude. With so much emphasis on buying gifts, it’s easy to lose sight of the true sources of happiness. Studies consistently show that meaningful connections, shared experiences, and acts of kindness bring far more joy than any material possession ever could.


Consider this: the gifts that mean the most are often not the most expensive but the most heartfelt—a sentiment that captures the essence of true holiday spirit and gratitude. A handwritten note, a shared meal, or simply spending quality time together can create memories that last a lifetime. Gratitude amplifies these moments, allowing us to fully appreciate their significance.


How to Start a Gratitude Practice


If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the pressures of the holiday season, starting a gratitude practice can help. It doesn’t have to be complicated. Here’s how you can begin:


  1. Keep a Gratitude Journal: Each day, write down three things you’re grateful for. They don’t have to be big or profound—even small moments, like a warm cup of coffee or a kind gesture, count.

  2. Share Gratitude with Others: Take time to express your appreciation to friends, family, and coworkers. A simple “thank you” can go a long way.

  3. Focus on the Present: Instead of worrying about the perfect holiday or the next big purchase, focus on the moments you’re experiencing right now. Be present and savor them.

  4. Give Back: Acts of kindness and generosity not only help others but also boost your sense of gratitude. Volunteer, donate, or simply lend a helping hand.


A Lesson for Life


As someone who learned the importance of gratitude the hard way, I share this message as a reminder: happiness isn’t found in “stuff.” It’s found in the moments and connections that make life meaningful. During the holidays, take a step back from the noise and focus on the blessings in your life. Reflect on what truly matters and allow gratitude to guide your celebrations.


In summary, the holidays offer a beautiful opportunity to embrace gratitude. By shifting our focus from materialism to the things that truly matter, we can create a season filled with joy, connection, and meaning. And perhaps, as we carry this practice forward, we can find that happiness isn’t something to chase—it’s something we create within ourselves.

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What the Professionals Are Saying 

"I teach a course on negotiations, during which I spend a good deal of time talking about honesty and ethics in negotiations. As an ethics researcher, I think it is important that students not only understand strategies for successfully claiming value in negotiations, but also learn about the temptations they will face to engage in unethical bargaining, and unethical behavior more broadly in their professional careers. Bill brought this message to life. Bill explained to my students – with openness, authenticity, and scientific insight – the ethical missteps he took in his career. I am incredibly grateful to have had Bill in my class – I learned from him just as much as my students did. I think he would be a welcome, and much needed, addition to any course related to ethics, well-being, power and influence, or negotiations (and likely many more!)."   

                                                                        Professor Emma Levine/ University of Chicago Booth School of Business 

“Bill Carlson has a reservoir of experience that will resonate with college students and professionals from all walks of life. Seldom do you encounter an individual willing to openly share his foibles and mistakes in an attempt to deviate the life paths of those mutually-inclined to make the same errors. Bill lays his life bare in his presentation and shares the detrimental impact his decision-making had on his personal and professional life; yet he lays the foundation for an inroad to a better future built upon his gratitude for life, learning from his mistakes, and pursuit of his new definition of “life wholeness”.  

                                                                         Dr. William C. McCoy, Director/Rutland Institute for Ethics

                                                                         Visiting Professor, College of Education/Clemson University 

"For over 30 years, I have been teaching full- and part-time. For the past eleven years I have been a member of the accounting faculty at Fordham University. This semester, Fall 2021, Mr. Carlson agreed to speak with my students about his story, and I can say that I have had few guest speakers who delivered such a powerful message about the importance of professional obligations. It was the story of a seemingly nice guy who exhibited a lack of judgment and would pay a heavy price for it. Most importantly, it is a story of a man who reflected upon his moral lapse and has made a solid commitment to helping others."              

                                                                                       Timothy P. Hedley, Ph.D., CPA, CFF, CFE

                                                                            Retired Global Leader of Fraud Risk Management Services, KPMG LLP

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